Women

I've noticed that in US gay bars, it is more and more common to find women hanging out with their gay friends. I think I'm witnessing a generational shift. Just a few years ago, it was unusual to find even one woman at a gay bar in New York. Last night, I did a bar crawl with a visiting friend. We went to five bars in Midtown West and the East Village, and every one of them was full of women. I was shocked.

I struggle with this because—I won't even try to hide it—I don't want to socialize with straight women in gay bars. I worry, however, that this is the attitude of a gay misogynist dinosaur. The price gays are paying for greater mainstream acceptance is the loss of our counterculture. Some find this acceptable, but I'm uncomfortable with it. I can, and do, interact with women everywhere else. I'd like to have a few places where I can be with just men, but it looks like there will be fewer and fewer of those.

Last Sunday, there was one very drunk and very deluded woman walking around at New York's one and only cruise bar in a bra and braces. She went into the men's room and started whining about how she was gay man trapped in a woman's body and was offended because no one at the bar wanted to talk to her. Really, honey? You're hanging out half naked in the men's room of a gay bar and feeling lonely? Try taking a walk down the street. You'll make lots of new friends.

Finally, I couldn't take anymore of her whining—she wouldn't leave the bathroom—and I shouted out over the stall wall, "You're not welcome here for the same reason men aren't welcome at the ob gyn: we don't belong there!" And then I asked security to make her leave. This was an extreme example of the trend, I'll grant, but it shows there are no exclusive gay bars left in New York, or possibly anywhere. I'm not happy about this.

Yellow

Over the weekend I managed to tackle a painting project I'd been dreaming about for years. My previous roommate had taken some paint purchased by his previous roommate and painted the hall near the entrance. It was a toxicly bright yellow, and every time I walked in the door I wanted to change it. After this year's endless winter relented and we finally had a full weekend without rain, I fixed it, by extending the living room's color. I think it makes the room look bigger.

Bust

The Berlin trip was kind of a bust. I can't blame Berlin. The weather was perfect: six days of sunny warm days and cool nights. The problem was me sleeping past noon every day and not feeling especially inspired to do anything. Maybe an April trip was too soon after my December visit, or maybe the difficulty I have eating well over there just left me worn out.

I'm planning to go back in September, as in, I've already booked an apartment and bought a plane ticket, but I'm really thinking I should save the vacation days, and cash, and do something else. Like saving the money.

Yeah right. Almost as soon as I starting thinking of canceling the September trip, I started thinking of what else I could do that around Labor Day. Southern Decadence comes to mind. If there's one thing I can say about New Orleans, it's that I will have no trouble finding something to eat. I almost did this trip back in 2008, but a hurricane changed my mind and I went to the Folsom Street Fair later that September instead. It's a pity Southern Decadence always falls in hurricane season, but it sure keeps the hotels and air fares reasonable.

I should give myself another week to think about this, but I dread the thought of another trans-Atlantic trip anytime soon.